Unkie Herb

Back in civilization, and it just ain’t cool.

It’s not that it’s hard or frightening, it’s just plain sad. Some beaches in Thailand have been done right: low key accommodation, open air bamboo-walled bars, and quiet dirt roads.

Khao Lak, however, is all concrete and major highway. The sounds of traffic drown out the surf, and the beach is lined with cookie cutter high end “bungalows”, which are more like bunkers. I think the average foreign age in this town is somewhere around fifty, and the average annual income is somewhere around ridiculous.

Still, there are some benefits, such as this flatscreen monitor and CD burner in front of me. The western food will be nice after five days of fried rice and chili sauce. Oh, and we’ve already found one of those Johnny Moneypants hotels on the beach with a swim up bar at its pool, and we’re gonna go live it up without paying for it. Sometimes concrete has its upside, I suppose.

The islands were beautiful, and would have been spectacular if it weren’t for the two hours every day when every speedo on the planet would descend for lunch on my beach. The sand was baby powder, the water crystal clear, the reef teeming with life and the jungle full of flying foxes, monitor lizards (like mini Komodo dragons), crabs the size of rugby balls and giant sea eagles. We camped, for free, in our mosquito netted hammocks while other foreigners shelled out thirty to sixty US a night for their bungalows. I love traveling cheaply.

Oh, and we mooched lunch off the tour groups almost every day, so I guess they weren’t all that bad, either.

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As for me, I’ve been spending the last three days on Ko Phangan, well known for its massive full moon parties. Classically, I’ve not been to one party or even to Hat Rin Beach, the backpacker mecca that makes this island famous. And I probably leave tomorrow for some tourist-free islands on the west coast, so it looks like I won’t step foot into the madness that draws hundreds of thousands of people here every year.

Oh well.

Off to the Similian Islands, which have world class snorkeling and diving. I just spent about $50 US on a decent snorkel and mask, and I’m planning on cracking the sucker in on some manta rays, reef sharks, sea turtles and whatever else leaps out from the coral at me. The snorkeling here has been pretty good, but people shell out four hundred US for dive trips to the Similians, so it should be a shade better. I’m not doing the rich cruise approach, though. I’ve met up with a Nottinghammer and perhaps some South Affies who want to go and camp on the islands and do our snorkeling by walking off the beach. It’s a serious national park, and so other than a couple of park bungalows and campsites, there is no habitation on any of the nine islands.

Should be interesting. If only I had a waterproof camera, I could make a couple of youtube moments last a lifetime.

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If you are just joining us, reading the past three posts and their comments will help this post make sense.

Let’s get to it.

First of all, I wanted to say that you guys are personifying what my argument hinges on. Without the support of people everywhere, and from every caste and class, this sort of thing is not possible. Speaking with people here (in south east Asia) is incredible, as the level of openness to new ideas is inspiring. There is, however, a steady skepticism on whether or not people are ready. Whether or not the fear and conformity that is so pervasive in societies around the world could beat down any attempt at, as Adam put it, LASTING change.

Well. I am currently staying in a really perfect place with just the right amount of tourist amenities and a beautiful balance of nature and authenticity. This island still revolves around fishing, cashew farming and other industries. My beach, about five or six km long, has less than ten little bungalow operations. At peak time, sunset, there might be ten or twenty people on the whole beach. Cheap, laid back, but with internet and a couple pubs with that wonderful “everybody is everybody’s friend the moment they step onto the bamboo floor” sort of atmosphere. Reggae plays almost non-stop, but only when the generators kick in for a few hours every evening, as the beach has no electricity.

Here, I overheard a middle aged Dutch man who, speaking with a Londoner, said, “Get out of there! What a terrible place, my friend, how much better is it here?!” Jack, the Englishman, agreed that London was intense and stressful, but it was his home. The Dutch man responded that he didn’t want to be there when it all destructed, and Asia was the perfect escape.

At this point, I jumped into the conversation. I agreed that perhaps many western cities were too shallow and ignorant, too selfish and crowded. That they can suck your soul and force you into compromising what was, at one point, important and meaningful to your ideas of what is a good life. That it would be hypocritical for us to disagree, because aren’t we all here, in paradise, escaping?

“But it will change. When you look at every civilization in history, they go through the same periods of growth, expansion, peak, decline, and eventual destruction. It will happen again. When the situation in our societies gets so low, so unbearable, so ridiculous and unacceptable, it will have to change. Hopefully peacefully, but it will change.”

And this I believe. Whether or not it happens the way I describe or others do, it will change. Perhaps not even in my lifetime, if people show a remarkable acceptance of what they are going through. Sooner or later, the greed and the power concentrations will reach obscene levels, and somehow the system will right itself. Otherwise, the twin towers were just the aperitif, and the main course is still to come. Heaven forbid.

At any rate, I’ve been studying some very interesting stuff about the Mayan Calendar. They apparently set up a cyclical system marking the evolution of human consciousness that began 16.4 billion years ago and ends in 2012. As the ancient Chinese curse goes (according to my very learned Chinese scholar of a father), “May you live in interesting times.”

We do. The world is changing faster than ever before. This we know. Why don’t we take advantage?

Thanks for reading and please throw a comment up on the site, even if what you have to say is brief and funny. Humour is essential to keep this shit readable!
Cheers.

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First of all, I have spiced up a couple of my previous Myanmar posts with some photos, so scroll down and check those out. There are also a few more posted below.

Secondly, please read the comments left by Adam and Damien on “Dialogue”, below. I had prepared myself for some interesting feedback, but this is developing into some real roundtable stuff. I hope, if you have anything at all to add, please enter it as a comment. I will post with additional responses as soon as I can (gotta catch a bus!).

I did want to say, though, that both of you (A-train and Dizzle) hit your respective nails clean through the wood. I am pushing for a revolution in empathy, in which people understand unneccessary and unacceptable hardship without having to experience it, and so problems can be solved by the people with the power to do so. For example, poverty is alleviated by the rich, not by the penniless.

I know it won’t be easy, perhaps impossible, but what the shit, let’s go for it, eh?

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1. Adam Says:
March 8th, 2007 at 11:16 pm

Very interesting post. I must say, you’ve really got me interested in going to visit Myanmar. It’s right up there with North Korea (not joking!). I notice there hasn’t been any pictures from Myanmar. Is taking out your camera in the middle of the street a sketchy thing to do over there?

As for you becoming a hippie: well, your discussion of the meaninglessness of the term is on point. But that’s not really surprising, all these terms are merely broad typologies that no one really fits neatly into. And if they did, I would question their authenticity anyways. They would be more like a caricature than a real person. And this sort of hippie-economist persona isn’t exactly new to you either, I would say. Thinking back to days in Kew Park, playing hacky-sack, enjoying recreational “activities,” while all decked out in O’Neill board shorts and DC shoes. Sure things are different now, but the contradictions remain the same.

Unkie Herb responds:
Excellent stuff, my man, thanks for responding. Makes me wonder why you aren’t writing your thoughts on your website :P.

At any rate, I understand what you mean about our days spent in parks during high school, and also my philosophy studies during university, as indicators of liberal leanings. Yet I still feel as if this trip is more than just a furthering of previously held beliefs. Instead, I think that while I always knew that there was more below the surface, I was willing to maintain the status quo, stay mainstream and become a PR manager or something.

Well, that’s basically been thrown out the window, and I’ve pretty much decided that a revolution is needed in western society. I’m not talking about rising up in violence, but a simple change. A society in which, when something is wrong and everyone is aware of it, we actually do something. No more shrugging and saying, “well, that’s just the way it is.” For example, we all know that big government is corrupted easily by corporate interests, usually through lobbying and campaign donations. We all know that our education system is failing, and something dynamic is needed, as quality public education is perhaps the most important aspect of a cohesive, successful society.

We know these things, and we don’t act upon them. What is stopping us? Why can’t we just raise our voices? If we do, and governments don’t respond, they are gone in a few years. They will learn quickly. If it comes to it… sigh… I’ll go into politics.

Oh… and photos aren’t a problem in Myanmar, you just gotta watch things like airports, government buildings and police officers. I understand the same is true in the U.S.

So, photos will be posted real soon, I promise.

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Sad to say it was sad leaving, but my Burmese days are over. I will return to that country, provided I don’t end up on some blacklist somehow. Perhaps, considering I have yet to write my scathing, politically charged article on the country, I am still below the radar. Perhaps I will never even be close to the radar. Either way.

I was serious when I mentioned that experiencing the Orwellian stylings of the current Myanmar government puts western society into perspective. The sports-as-distractions example I gave last post is nothing new. We can go way back to Rome for the bread and circuses (circi?) manifestation. I question how the beer and football state of affairs is different. Keep the masses drunk and angry at athletes and referees, and they will pass out before they have a chance to get angry at the government.

Another thing that really janked my chain when I was there: Burmese men gathered in tea shops watching American DVDs in English. No subtitles, no translation, nothing. We sat in the tea shop, eating our food and drinking tea, whispering to one another because the place was nearly silent. It was like eating in a movie theatre with the sound off. No one was speaking, no conversing, no exchange of ideas. Just a terrible movie that no one could understand.

What entertainment value could have come from this? Pretty pictures and leather clad women (there was a bad Matrix ripoff one time)? I wonder if, presented with no rights to free association and expression, the men are forced into this mindless waste of time. The women are all busy with the children and generally running the businesses and farms, but the men often seem bored to tears. Has the government, by allowing the importation of Chinese TVs and DVD players, given the people another simpleton distraction from their brutal repression?

Or, more likely, it is possibly the case as it is in the west. People like watching TV because its easy and brainless and it allows them escape from the constant barrage of fear and turmoil that is the world we have created. Don’t change the world, run away. Don’t change your dictactorial government, close your eyes. Don’t face challenge and change with your mind and heart clear, stick your head in the sand.

Am I alone? Does anyone agree?

On another note… some of you may be wondering if I have followed the tried and true backpacker stereotype. Has Evan, the sports addicted, materialistic westerner undergone some sort of personal revelation? Has he followed in the footsteps of so many young travelers before him? Those with mainstream ideas about mainstream topics, who somehow return from southeast asia with long hair, beards and all articles of clothing made from hemp?

Evan. Are you a fucking hippie?

Yes. Well, maybe. I really just don’t give a shit, to be honest. I still read the Economist, if you’re interested. But maybe that’s for research purposes. To be honest, I think using the word hippie is sort of moot now. It’s like calling Bush a neo-con. Even he doesn’t know what it means.

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