Unkie Herb

Singapore’s airport does not have an execution chamber.

Well, I haven’t seen the whole thing, but I’ve been here for the past six hours trying unsuccessfully to sleep, so I looked around a little.

The flight from Taipei was unspectacular. JetStar has nice leather seats but because its a ghetto discount airline it has no movie, TV or free food/drinks. However, as with every Asian airline, the flight attendants are all stunning. As well, nobody seems to request the emergency exit row, which I don’t understand. The extra leg room is always nice, and because of no one else’s bitchiness about long legs, I had all three seats to myself in the row. The plane was full otherwise, but I was sprawled out, getting dirty looks from every Singaporean grandma on the flight.

 Anyway, two hours or so away from my two hour jaunt to Phnom Penh. Will post again then.

Will try to not get caned or anything in the meantime.

 

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Just like everyone else who did a big trip and made a website about it, I’m writing my obligitory “Here we go” post. I even put it in the title to avoid confusing you into thinking I have any shred of originality.

Regardless, this is going to be freakin amazing, the experience of a lifetime, for sure. The cliches seem somehow appropriate.

Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, North Thailand, Myanmar (Burma), South Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia. All in six to eight months, depending on cash, time, and health.

To keep track and keep in touch, check out the Pages list on the sidebar. Click on “Maps, baby, maps” for a general Southeast Asia map with my larger movements noted. For more specifics, check out “Where am I now?”, which will update you on my location currently or in transition. As well, that second page will have a specific country map, edited to show the places I’ve been and how I got there.

Oh! And if you are planning a trip to the region, please email me (evanh123 at gmail.com) or throw a comment up on my site somewhere. Peace!

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Its a funny thing.

Leaving Canada wasn’t difficult. Having the knowledge that one day, sooner or later, I’m going to see these people again makes it easy. Even friends from other circles who have drifted away will probably be run into at a wedding, reunion, or on College Street (just picked one out of a hat).

Leaving here is different. I’m nearly certain that I will never see these people again. The Canadians who I have become close to, roommates especially, will probably be hooked up with again. Perhaps a couple of internationals will be visited if I can manage trips to their region of the world (the leading candidates are a Bolivian, a Mexican, an Aussie, and a Parisian beauty who is unfortunately married). With the locals, however, the chances of meeting are pretty much nil.

I cried when I left my kindergarten class. Nine little three year olds with sad and confused faces looking up at me. They know I’m leaving, but they can’t really understand I won’t b be back. As I stand to leave, Echo, the class leader, stumbles over “See you to-mah-woh,” one of their automatic goodbye sentences. All the other children catch on and repeat their own broken versions. I shake my head sadly,

“No, guys, no see you tomorrow.”

They pause, confused. But wait! They’ve heard this before! Echo (of course) knows what to say when teacher says “No see you tomorrow.”

“See you on Monday.” She intones. What a bright girl, she remembers something she only learns once a week, and she’s only eight weeks into her life as an English speaker. But, again, I shake my head, tears welling up.

“No, Echo, I won’t see you Monday.”

At this they are truly confused. My co-teacher tries reminding them in Chinese that I am going to Canada. But, to them, Canada is the exact same distance as every other place they’ve never been and don’t understand. I could have been moving to another part of the city, or to another school, or to the Moon. It would not have made a difference in their conception of the world.

At my co-teacher’s urging, they all gave me hugs and kisses, something that would get me fired teaching back home. And I left.

Now I’m feeling fine, knowing that I had my girlie little goodbye and I can act like a man again. Tonight will make me feel better. There’s a big Halloween party at a local foreigner bar that I’ve commandeered as my farewell bash. Folks from around town are heading in and I’ll go out in style: I’ve got my nun costume all ready to go.

As well, I’ve been saying goodbye around town to random locals who have been part of my life. The guy who works the 7-11 near my school that I buy a drink from every morning. My dry cleaner. The breakfast shop owners around my home, without which my hangovers wouldn’t have had their greasy fix.

Without a lick of Chinese, its pretty difficult to get it across. My method, which works, is to hold my arms to mime an airplane, then point to myself flying away and I say “Jia-na-da,” which is Chinese for Canada. The Taiwanese generally get my little one-man show and nod knowingly. Next, they’ll ask if I’m coming back, to which I mime, “Taiwan is good but no, I can’t.” I won’t attempt to illustrate how I get that across.

I can’t really explain why I’ve decided to say peace to all these randoms, but it’s just something I felt I should do. Maybe it’s the attention seeker in me wanting the love, but I like to think its because I want these people to know that I’m gone and they haven’t lost my business. Either way, when the breakfast shop cook came out from behind his counter to give me a hug today, I was touched (literally and figuratively).

So. In conclusion, leaving a country when you’ll never come back is tough. However, the knowledge of my impending adventure in awesome-ness is keeping me focused.

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As predictable as it may seem, I have to do it. I apologize to Leaf haters everywhere.

It may have been a Monday evening in Taiwan. It may have been two days after the game actually happened. It may have been on my computer moniter, a downloaded replay of the actual game. And it may have been only the sixth game of the season.

But I lept out of my chair and shouted in excitement. Even my Senators fan roommate applauded in appreciation. It was an incredible moment. I even misted up a little (honestly).

Saturday night on CBC. An all-Canadian matchup. In OT. Shorthanded. For the hat trick. The 500th goal of his career.

Scripted by the hockey gods, to say the least.

Once again, Mats Sundin gets it done. I love you, Mats. I even met you once, remember?

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Five day weekend, baby.

I remember reading on Adam’s site how he and his roommates had a saying: TIC. Or, “This is China.” This was useful for life in Shanghai because you cannot rely on the government or other organizations for consistency. And so, whenever they were faced with the unexpected, “TIC” was passed around with a couple of shrugs for emphasis. I recently had a similar moment here in Taiwan. It might as well be China, but I guess I can just say “This is Taiwan” to avoid offending any pro-independance nationalists who are still left.

Much of Asia still follows the Lunar Calender. That isn’t to say they don’t follow the Solar one as well (the 365 day one Westerners use), but rather they use both. Many holidays, such as Chinese New Year, shift their position on the Western calender each year because the days and months of the moon’s cycles never line up the same way. Problems arise, however, when holidays based on one calender knock up against a day off from the other one.

This has now happened.

In Taiwan, they celebrate “Moon Festival.” It’s a fall harvest festival, equivalent to our Thanksgiving. It falls on the fifteenth day of the eighth lunar month, which turned out to be October sixth. The day in question is always given as a day off, but if it falls on a weekend, the government can refuse to grant an extra weekday off to compensate. This is partly because so many people here work on weekends.

As well, Taiwan’s national “Independance Day” is on the Solar calender. It is always October Tenth, and is known as 10/10, or Double Ten day (tenth month, tenth day, how creative).
To complicate matters, October sixth happened to be a Friday, while the tenth is a Tuesday. This gave the population a three day weekend, a single day of work, and then a three day week following the extra day off. Everyone (and I mean everyone) booked themselves a three day holiday months ago. They all planned to return to work Monday and then enjoy a quiet day off Tuesday.

However, Tuesday was a perfect opportunity for nonsense, and you just knew someone would take advantage. Predictably, jumping at the opportunity were the organizers of massive protests directed at the President of Taiwan (Chen Shui-Bian), against whom there are charges of corruption. It’s too easy: the holiday protest won’t have to draw supporters away from work, thereby vastly increasing the potential turnout. The media is predicting over a million people to attend the event.

I remind you that “TIT”: This is Taiwan.

Because TIT, we should have seen it coming, yet no one did. In reaction to the planned protest, which may have even thrust Chen’s mishaps into the global spotlight, the government knee-jerked and announced last week that, island-wide, Monday is now a mandatory holiday. The intention here is that if we do not have to make it to work on the ninth, we will extend our holidays to Japan, Thailand, or elsewhere on the island and forgoe returning to Taipei and attending the protest.

Last week, I wondered at the ease with which people would be able to change flights and hotel bookings four days before the weekend began. Speaking to people (both local and expat) about it, it seemed that the announcement was made much too late and everyone will be returning to Taipei, as planned, on Sunday.

What about me? I’m not doing anything. I’m about three weeks removed from leaving Taiwan forever. I’ll be slumming my way across South East Asia for seven or eight months. This was the worst possible timing for a five day weekend, as far as I’m concerned. Why waste money on a mediocre, overpriced and overpacked vacation here, when I’m about to start one that’ll cost less, be better and last more than half a year?

Needless to say, I’ll be at that protest on Tuesday.

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It may not be Phuket or Cancun, but Kenting works hard to bring a little beach resort to Taiwan.

Perched on the very southern tip of Taiwan are several towns that have geared themselves to mainland Chinese, Japanese and Taiwanese tourists looking for a reserved beach resort. For expats in Taiwan Kenting is a much needed escape from Taiwan city life without having to shell out for that flight to Bangkok.

A world class aquarium, some nice beaches, a beautiful National Park on a mountain, and one jumping Thai restaurant (that set itself apart from the rest) are on the itinerary. To ice the cake, the weather down on the tip is uncharacteristic for Taiwan. That is to say, it’ll be hot and sunny even if the rest of the island is blanketed in rain and cloud, as is the case most days. While Taipei was ten degrees and raining in February ‘06, Kenting was twenty-seven and sunny for a week straight. Go.

The largest beach in the vicinity (and one of the better surfing beaches) is actually a few kilometers up the road toward Kaoshiung, and has its own small town supporting it. The nightlife here can’t compete with Kenting, although it is less insane on a Saturday night. The beach was quite successfully ruined, however, when the government decided it was to be the site of a nuclear power plant, which sits like gargoyle behind what would otherwise be prime beach views. Very unfortunate (and downright idiotic).

A smaller and quieter option is the small cove (Little Bay) at the other end of Kenting Road from the McDonalds (east toward Taitung). White sand, snorkling and beach volleyball

are all available, although the beach is technically owned by hotels and so renting the sand around the volleyball net might be necessary. Try sending the girls to negotiate with the friendly hotel staff. Again, this beach has its problems with too many jetskis, small waves and limited space.

The restaurants in the area are all decent, although for some reason many of them have decided to try both Mexican and Thai menus, neither of which are successfully pulled off. Check out the huge American style restaurants above Little Bay beach (near the Howard Park Hotel) for some great western food at western prices. Didi’s is far and away your best Thai option, and at great prices it isn’t to be missed. Book ahead for sure or you aren’t eating (08867738).

There are some other touristy things in the region. If you can, make friends with some English speaking hotel staff, because they are your best connections to things like scooter rentals. You should be able to get a 125 cc Honda for around $400 NT a day. This allows you to explore beyond the town. The first thing to do with your new ride is take it up the mountain into the National Park. The drive up the mountain is

excitingly dangerous and the views at the top are spectacular. Try driving your bike in the parking lot exit to avoid the park fees.

Next, good luck trying to find the aquarium, which is amazing, massive and fully worth the $300 NT admission fee (no going in the exit doors here). It’s thirty or forty KM away from town. Get a pamphlet for it and show it to locals roadside if you get lost (which you will), and they’ll point you in the right direction.

You can also hire a taxi to take you there, but this is a more expensive option.

One highlight of the region itself is simply cruising the open road on a bike. Ocean on one side, rainforest on the other, some stretches of the coastal highway are enjoyable all on their own.

At night, especially on big weekends like October Tenth and New Years, Kenting Road does its best impression of downtown Tokyo. Tourists six or seven deep line both sides of the road and cars crawl in the middle. Restaurants are overflowing and tourist shops are selling matching outfits to Japanese tourists who only brought long pants and sweaters. For a good party, check out Golden Beach, which has a non-nude strip club (what’s the point?) in the basement and a disco on the second floor. On weekends a live band hits the stage upstairs and rocks hilarious covers of your favourite top forty garbage (cover $300 NT with two drinks, drinks $150 NT and up).

To get there, take a bus or train to Kaoshiung then take your pick from the buses offering service south to Heng Chun and beyond to Kenting. It is around two hours and $300 NT, one way. Ask the bus driver to tell you when you’re in Kenting, and he’ll unload you somewhere along the main drag (Kenting Rd).You can also approach by bus from Taitung on the east coast.

For acommodation, the hotels along Kenting Road all offer a similar quality and price. Walking and negotiating is a good idea, unless you are going during big tourist times like Chinese New Year (book far, far in advance).

For camping, the Lonely Planet lists one outside of town, but there is a better alternative closer to town that they haven’t found yet. Facing the entrance to the National Park (near Macdonalds) walk up the road that runs left of the park. At the time of writing, this road had collapsed into an open sewer, so it’s necessary to walk through the large parking lot then cross over onto the road (near the public bathroom). Five minutes up this road is a large grassy campground, which has teepee rentals for $250 NT per person, and bring your own tent camping for $150 per person/night. They also rent sleeping bags if you forgot yours. The grounds are nice and the bathrooms are basic but work, so if your really cheap (like me) its by far your best bet.

Also, try the Catholic Hostel if you want a bed but don’t want to shell out. Don’t hit your head on the crucifixes.

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